how Voldy was really killed
by samurai's wind
Summary: its a cross-over but you have to read and find out. but i will tell you Ron is foaming from the mouth... rated m for language


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Harry's POV

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It was dark in the castle, and old Voldy Moldy had just broken in with Bellatrix, Severus, Lucius, Narcissa, and the other death eaters.

Somehow the stupid idiots' forgot their way around and ended up locking them selves in the dumb Great Hall.

Outside we were all laughing cause everyone knew Severus Snape is on our side but only playing to get info. And the Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and half the Slytherin, who aren't on the dim-dots team, Anyways we were all laughing quietly because inside we hear:

"Bellatrix where are they?" Voldy Moldy asked like a child

"bloody hell I don't know, Jesus!!!" Suddenly we hear a tearing sound then Snape asking,

"Bellatrix are you ok?"

"no!!! I just pulled out my bloody hair, do you think I'm alright????"

We all backed up from the door because heard:

"here Severus, Here Severus! let me pull out your hair and then... I'll ask if your alright!!!" Bellatrix laughed evilly.

Finally some muggle-born, who had put a camera in there, turn it on. the reason: cause he was_ sure_ that Dumbledore and McGonagall were doing _it_ on the teachers' table at mid night.

I shutter, "that's just wrong." Ron taps my shoulder, "you ok mate?" "yeah" I reply but back to the subject

Was he right? No but Lucius and Severus love to feed each other strawberries at night.

Anyways, once again I got off topic, sorry...

Bellatrix is running around the Great Hall chasing Severus, while Lucius looked high as a Florida Pine. And old Voldy Moldy is running in circles while chasing the transformed Pettigrew.

"damn." Draco whispers to me, "now I know why dad's always so high when he comes back from Voldy." I snake my arm around him. "you have to be high to put with his childish ass." I whisper before he kisses me.  
The dude who put the camera in whispers. "shit Harry, Draco. They found my cam!"

"I guess it's time to attack?" I asked Sirius, who back from the died along with Dumbledore, both whom look high too, I laugh "damn Lucius!!" I say ghetto like.

I look at Ron, who now has his shoulders huffed over and he's actually _**foaming from the mouth**_, but hey Ron's been doing that every since his dad, me, and him went to muggle Britain. I think a British Pimp MIGHT have sold him some steroids. I dun know.

I look over to Hermione and she's asleep. Gees how lazy can you get? I'll have to ask Snape to give her an 'F' later.

Last but not least I look over at Luna and Neville, who are kissing and cuddling away from everyone else. Them and Draco, Blaise, Pansy, and Draco's two goons, I like to call them, have become my new best friends.

Damn, bad Harry, bad! You got off topic again. Sorry!! Then I make puppy god eyes at you and all the readers forgive me...

Anyway we all nod and we push the two big doors open and walk into the Great Hall, by then everyone had quit their playing around and started acting the death eaters we all know.

With Voldy Moldy in the front the they started walking towards the middle of the Great Hall. And me and Draco led everyone on my side towards the middle.

Voldy looks me straight in the eye and says, "you feeling lucky punk? Huh are ya?" Suddenly both side's eyes open widely and we all, even the death eaters, stare at Voldy.

In the Doctor Evil voice from Austin Powers gold member, he says "did I make a boo-boo?"

Bellatrix nodded and yelled, "yes, you stupid half breed! why the hell are we even following you??????"

Ok so here it goes again, Voldy is gonna to try again folks.

In a hillbilly voice he says, "I'm gonna kill you."

He then looks around to see everyone agrees, Voldy Moldy is really a stupid half breed dim-dot sometimes... they all nodded their heads 'yes' and he smiles child-like before jumping up and down while chatting 'I did it-I did it.'

Or least he was until Bellatrix snapped the back of him head and said, "stand the fuck up you bloody idiot.." her face red with anger, but hell I don't care, I chuckle to myself.

And then somehow it went to fighting, I don't really remember but I think Bellatrix shot it, but Sirius and me got her. Poor Belly-Trixes she's dead now, but hey I'm not gonna shed a tear for her.

I mean gees she's in love with a freaking no-nose-freak-who-acts-like-a-baby.

Anyway I look at Voldy who has Bellatrix's ghost above him telling him where to shoot.

Suddenly his wand is pointed to me and he shots a curse and it goes straight beside me, only getting my hair, thank the gods he's a horrible shooter.

WAIT A DAMN MINUTE...

MY HAIR... OH HELL NAW..

NO THE FUCK THAT NO-NOSE BASTARD DIDN'T..

My eyes have flames in them now.

That bastard!!! I scream in my head again

I can't ride or bounce up and down on Draco for a month, that's what it took to get my hair cut up to shoulders.

AND HE CUT A PIECE OFF, I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM!!!!! I go red in face, just like Bellatrix did.

suddenly I go ghetto again.

And start rolling my neck as I talk.

"you know what Voldy??"

"huh?" he looks dumb-founded so I continue.

"you is a lazy dim-dot and when you mess with someone's hair it's war!!!!"

"WAR!!!!" the foaming of the mouth Ron yells after me, suddenly a house elf appears and puts a towel on the huge slobber and foam mix.

just in case we don't get what ever he has!! LOL...

I laugh before asking, "yo Voldy Moldy?"

"yes Mr. Potter?" he asks nicely

"can we take a break?"

"sure Mr. Potter in fact it's time for my bottle." he smiled crazy

"um... ok... yeah." I mumble, hell now i'm dumb founded

"Awkward!!!!" Remus sings as the transformed Sirius dry humps Remus' leg, even though he was referring to Voldy with a bottle being awkward...

Everyone stays on their side of the room. While the death eaters ware talking about who they wanted to kill. Lucius, Severus, and Narcissus slide on the walks back to our side.

I mean hey who knew the Malfoy's were good and only playing.

Anyways Luna and Neville both examined my hair before they both looked to the floor with sad looks on their faces.

I pull out my phone and dial a number.

A voice says "hello"

And I say, "can you come and help me? This dim-dot shot a piece of my hair off..."

The voice is calm, hell the person is always calm. Anyways the voice says, "sure, I'll be there in a few."

I smiled widely as I hear the dial tone before I hang up, I look over at Luna and Neville and smile, they both 'pound' their fists together and smile widely at me.

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Five minutes later... still Harry's POV

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A motorcycle crashes in the Great Hall windows on our side, there she is.

Lune, Neville, and me all smile widely as she walks in dresses in her leather shorts and white tank top.

She's dressed for the Extinction!!!!!

Yes I do mean ALICE FROM RESIDENT EVIL..

I guess that was when Bellatrix's ghost's noticed the absence of Lucius, Severus, and Narcissus and yells, "TRADITORS!!!"

after a shot is heard, everyone looks at Alice and w both exchange smiles.

She had got him right in the middle of the eyes.. Ha!!!!!! Take that dim-dot Voldy Moldy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I scream in my head

Alice hands me a gun and we both start popping bullets in Voldy's body.. as everyone takes a gun and started shooting the death eaters.

After the hundreds of shots we all stop, Lune and Neville walk over to us and we all 'pound' out fists with Alice's.

She smiled at us kindly and says, "it looks like the Umbrella Corporation put the T-virus then the antidote in Voldemort first."

"so that's why he's been acting baby like??" Neville asked as she nodded

"Stupid punk!" Luna giggled before hopping on Neville and whispering something that makes his whole face go red.

Alice 'pounds' us again, "sorry yo. Gotta go and kill zombies."

she takes all the guns back and leaves

Draco pulls me to him nad we both starte making out... hell this has been one good night comsidering that Voldy shot a piece of my hair off. but i bet he wont do tha shit again...

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I don't own Harry Potter or characters nor Alice...

Sorry if it's too long and/or crap.

But to me it's really cute

Review tell me how dumb I am for writing or you liked it.

I don't care but reviews always make me happy!!!


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